Because everyone thought Paris Hilton’s political ad was so effing adorable, she somehow roped Martin Sheen into helping her beat a dead horse then rape its carcass. If The West Wing going off the air didn’t effectively end Martin Sheen’s career, this thing put him out of his misery.

EXTRA CREDIT: While I was typing this post, I couldn’t help but think “Wow, Paris Hilton is literally just a diseased labia away from careening into obscurity.” Which is sweet justice considering, up until recently, she was the queen of undeserved celebrity. But now Heidi & Spencer are mugging like trained chimps for that title. So, here’s the question: If you had to choose between the Douche Twins or Paris, which would you rather see fall off the face of the planet while the other remains a “celebrity?” (And you have to choose or else something catastrophic will happen like, I dunno, beer no longer tastes delicious.) DISCUSS.